It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
