She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize