After last night, I could never be a politician.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize