Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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