areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
