so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
