her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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