the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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