I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize