you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
