Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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