it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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