so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
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it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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