Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He did a backflip because drugs
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
