she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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