need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
