Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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