I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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