They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize