i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
