She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you win again, gameday.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
