i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
