Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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