I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
