you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
