U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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