she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
