his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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