so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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