I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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