big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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