I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize