How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
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The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
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The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize