Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
