Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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