Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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