i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
