Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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