Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
