That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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