he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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