She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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