definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
