Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
