I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
