What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
