im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this boner is exhausting
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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