i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
