At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
