Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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