WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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