Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
