I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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