Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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