God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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