And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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