the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
