Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
