Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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