dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
