benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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