Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
