i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
we're so committed to being not committed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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