Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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