you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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