Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
there was a trapeze. enough said
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
